The Grand life

Walking through the colossal Indian-style doors of The Grand in Plettenberg Bay, is like Alice entering Wonderland.

The place is almost indescribable, open to so many interpretations. Opulent red velvet chairs scattered around the entrance hall (which leads to the dining area) severely contrast the rustic rundown walls cluttered with dusty bookshelves laden with heavyset books.

Then there's the eccentric touch — out-of-place pictures, over-the-top gold candleholders and some unique improvisation on the décor front.

I soon realised that The Grand shatters any kind of preconceptions you have about luxury. Like the Matrix baffles Neo, so this experience baffled me, until the story unravelled itself.

Changing rooms

The first room I stayed in was open-plan, its stone floors only emphasising the size of the place.

The bed set near the balcony (with a view over Lagoon Beach) was so high that the Tokoloshe wouldn't stand a chance. Again the Alice in Wonderland type feeling — 'Is the bed big or am I just really small?'

Nevertheless your every whim is catered to and there are bed stools for 'your highness' to get up onto the bed with.

The next quirk — the bathroom is completely open, except for a wooden divider which obviously isn't soundproof. And so if you're sharing with a partner your boundaries will be stretched just that much further. No mysteries here...

After staying in a five-star hotel just a few days before, at first I scoffed at the imperfectness of the place, its sometimes awkwardness (open bathrooms and the like) and the blatant casualness of the staff.

But after venturing out for that day coming 'home' to a friendly non-judgemental smile made a world of difference. At The Grand there are no airs and graces.

Since every room at The Grand is unique, we were moved into the bathhouse for the next evening.

As you enter there are two Victorian style bathtubs next to each other amidst a pool of candles and ambient lightening.

Then again the high-set bed fit for a king. And the most impressive part — your own outdoor pool with outdoor shower.

It's reminiscent of a Spanish Villa, and almost lends towards a day spent indoors, as you really don't need to go anywhere. Talk about real relaxation.

Food and wine

Having the option to dine at The Grand Cafe (you might know its sister in Camps Bay) meant that my room was only a stone's throw away, which was rather convenient especially after a bottle of wine.

Their menu isn't extensive but it's homely, and there is enough variety to suit every palette.

In Hemingway style, there's a rather large cocktail menu, but the first and second night my partner and I simply opted for a simple bottle of Porcupine Ridge Syrah, which at home is one of our favourites.

The mellow music, candles, mirrors, old-school piano and buzzing atmosphere (with the restaurant being packed by the end of the night), all set the stage for a terribly romantic evening.

Mesmerized we shared an ice berg lettuce salad and then munched on steak and chips, and then moved to the outside area to star-gaze while we shared one times outstanding affogato.

On evening two we had to try the lamb curry which everyone was raving about. The couple next to us even suggested we try it. It was exceptional as predicted.

When it comes to breakfast you can have all the usual and more. The English Breakfast has to be the best I have had. The French toast with bacon a very close second.

Lunches are light and innovative which is just as well. The smoked salmon with Naan bread and cream cheese is a winner.

Added bonus

On day two, just as I was getting into the swing of things, I was treated to a massage at The Grand. They have a variety of beauty therapists on call, so you can have any kind of treatment done in your hotel.

Tranquil music complemented the sound of a trickling fountain outside, while I was enjoying my 'full-body' massage. Sigh, what a hard life...

If you're looking for somewhere to really 'get away' then The Grand is the place. If you're rigid don't bother, unless of course you want to be stretched.

For a day or two I really became accustomed to Wonderland, its unpredictability and sense of freedom being something that I now realise should totally be treasured on a holiday.

For more information or to make a booking visit www.thegrand.co.za